sociallyawkwardjocelyn:

fnark-oreo:

thankyouforthedildos:

Whenever I’m not alone in a public bathroom I will wait until the other person flushes then pee as fast I can so they wont hear it.

i wait until its dead silent like when they’re fixing their hair and i take the hardiest piss and as i exit the stall i stare them in the face so they know my dominance over the bathroom

There are two types of people.

gothamshitty:

kushdrinker:

sweet dreams are made of cheese

who am I to diss a brie

laughinggaschamber:

Things that make me fall asleep really fast.

• when someone hums quietly.
• when my hair gets played with.
• when someone whispers a story to me.
• when someone traces my skin.
• chloroform.